Mullet Man Apprehended in Sykesville – Or Was He?

by Jack White on November 26, 2012

So what the heck happened in Sykesville last night at the corner of Kalorama and Harlan? I contacted the Sykesville Police this morning, but Debbie Spittel, the very nice lady who works there, told me that as of around nine or so this morning, she had no report on the incident.

But unless you were sleeping, you probably know that a helicopter was hovering over town shining a light into windows and illuminating residents in their pajamas, and Kalorama and Harlan were lit up like some sort of Christmas celebration with whirling blue and red lights. One of our neighbors said he was just down there and that the police had their guns drawn. And then he ran right back down there.

Meanwhile the town’s Facebook page warned us that a suspect was on the loose and to stay indoors. Then the information came flying in on Facebook.com/sykesvilleonline and even more so on our Sykesville Online Community page.

The picture that emerged from all this citizen chatter was that there was a white dude with no shirt, lots of tattoos, a mullet, variously described as red, ginger, or pink (the pink being me trying to be funny), wearing chaps, and boots, brandishing a knife, and needless to say heavily intoxicated. Which is really a lame excuse for that get up.

I’m not sure what chaps are, but I believe you wear them when riding horses, or starring in a western in the sixties, and no one mentioned a horse or a Hollywood production crew.  At some point word came in that mullet man was under control, and the helicopter went away and so did the police, leaving behind only questions, rumors, and a lingering fear of mullet man.

I’ll let you know if I find out anything more. It’s hard to imagine someone attired in this manner going quietly unnoticed through the streets of Sykesville, where mullets are few and chaps are seldom seen and except for the occasional male runner, everyone wears their shirts in November, but if you do happen to see a man in a red mullet and no shirt any time soon, you should probably notify the police.

I believe both state and Sykesville police were involved. When I mentioned that the Sykesville police were out, one wise guy friend of ours from Eldersburg said, “Oh, so both Barnie AND Andy are there.”

All and all it was quite exciting, and hopefully we’ll get the full story of the man in the orange mullet before the day is done.

If you have any more information, just contact our mullet tip line, or better yet, leave a comment here on our blog or at facebook.com/sykesvilleonline, since our mullet tip line isn’t quite fully operational as I write. And remember mullets ARE legal, they’re just not recommended.

 

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